Writing - Technical and Non-Fiction

I have worked as a freelance writer and producer in Los Angeles, mostly for the Web, for almost 20 years. Here are a few samples of Technical Writing.

While at Paramount Digital Entertainment I wrote the Users Guide for a new Content Management System for Entertainment Tonight Online.

While producing the Family Guy website for Fox I wrote episode descriptions for the show. Here are a couple examples:


Deep Throats

Airdate: 5/11/06

In this episode, Meg gets an internship in Mayor West’s office and, after everyone makes fun of him for having even less of a life than Meg, Brian gets a job as cab driver. Lois and Peter decide to break out their guitars and enter the local Talent Contest - singing folk songs like they did when they were young. Stewie wishes everyone would just shut up so he could watch Mr. Belvedere in peace.

After getting a $400 parking ticket, Brian decides to investigate and expose the Mayor as the corrupt politician that Brian is sure he is. Acting on a tip from Kermit the Frog, Brian (and Stewie) discover that Mayor West and Meg are having a romantic relationship.

Meanwhile, Lois and Peter are having trouble writing songs for the talent show so they try getting high and they kind of overdo it. Before long, they’re giggling naked on the living room sofa.

Brian confronts Meg with a photo of she and Mayor West frolicking in a park. Meg is shocked and upset, but when she tells Mayor West about it he doesn’t care. They haven’t had sexual relations (Mayor West says he’s willing to wait until Meg is 18 or 21, or even 25 when she can rent a car) but Mayor West doesn’t want the scandal to ruin Meg’s life and so he leaves. Soon after, a repentant Brian comes in and rips up the photo, explaining that he got so caught up in bringing down Mayor West he lost track of right and wrong.

Lois and Peter perform in the talent show. They are so baked they sound horrible but think they sound wonderful. Chris sets them straight as Stewie wishes everyone would just shut up so he could watch Mr. Belvedere in peace god damn it.

Peterotica
Airdate 4/23/2006


Quagmire brings the guys to his favorite porn shop. Peter buys a porn novel (Much Ado About Humping), but he finds it boring. His friends encourage him to write some erotica himself and Lois suggests that he publish it with some money from her father. Carter Pewterschmidt wants nothing to do with it but he offers Peter five dollars at the bottom of a jar filled with barbed wire and salt.

Peter takes the five bucks and makes Xerox copies of his book. He sells the books at 10 bucks a pop and soon he’s a publishing mogul. Unfortunately a guy listening to one of his books (“The Hot Chick Who Was Italian or Maybe Some Kind of Spanish” read by Betty White) gets distracted and crashes into Kool Aid’s house. Since Carter’s name is on Peter’s books as publisher Carter gets sued and loses all his money.

Carter loses his home and his wife leaves him for Ted Turner so Carter moves in with Lois and Peter. In turns out, however, that Carter is used to being cared for by his servants and doesn’t know how to dress himself or wipe his own ass. Peter decides to help Carter learn how to be a regular person. After one day Carter convinces Peter that being a regular person sucks so they decide together to figure out a way to become rich.

They try an number of schemes including selling pot to Meg, making television teen dramas, and train robbery. Finally Mrs. Pewtershmidt returns. She has divorced Ted Turner and wants to remarry Carter. He's rich again so he immediately moves out.