Tuesday, June 8, 2010


September 24th, 2001

So about three weeks ago I was minding my own business and bam the world changed completely. Then exactly a week later it changed completely again.

So I thought and I thought and I thought about all the things I could say tonight. See I do this at every ten tops. I do a little thing. A verbal song and dance. So I knew I would do something but then suddenly it was the last Monday of the month and I hadn't put together a perfectly molded brilliant piece of prose that I could come and say and make you laugh and make you cry and change your whole conception of the way the world works and how the events of the last few weeks can be understood in a new way that will rearrange the molecules of your brain.

I was gonna do that but I didn't have the time. I only had time to put together this stream of conciousness thing that I am reading now. Disappointed? Think how I feel. I still got a bunch of stuff to say and I have no idea how I'm gonna say it. And I'm running out of time probably.

So here goes.

My wife and I woke up early on September 4th. We were going to work together which is very nice. We were both working at Paramount on this Star Trek Web Site thing and we had a lot of things to do so we got up at about 6:30 am and took a shower together.

It was nice.

I love my wife. Her name is Shelley. She's not here right now because….well we lost track of what day it was. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Or behind.

So anyway after the shower there was this sudden rush of pinkish water coming out of Shelley's nether regions. Like she suddenly peed on the floor except pink.

Gross? Yes. Freaky? Yes.

See Shelley was pregnant. So we called the doctor and looked in the books and Shelley lay down and the doctor called all sleepy and said (yawn) just call and make an appointment for later today (at a reasonable hour) and we said …uh…ok….and the books didn't say anything helpful and then another gush of pinkish water came out and we called back the doctor and she said (yawn) alright. Go to the hospital and get it checked out.

So we go to the hospital which is a block away and we go up to labor and delivery and we get a room.

I should say that the baby is not due until October 9th. I put together the crib the weekend before but that was about it. We don't have any diapers or clothes or baby wipes or anything.

So obviously we're not going to have a baby. Now. It's not time. We have things still to do. We have a month still.

And there are no contractions. This is not labor….this is some strange something or other. Nothing to worry about probably. We'll be fine. Just get a doctor to take a look.

And besides that there's no room at the hospital. All the regular rooms are taken so they put Shelley and me in a large closet storage area that happens to have a bed stored in it. This adds to the sense that this is not the real thing. And then nobody really is all that concerned about it. The baby is fine. Mom is fine. Other people are actually having babies so please don't worry about us. Just let us know what this strange discharge was and we'll just get out of your way.

So about 3 hours go by and a doctor has come in and left before a nurse says "Oh yeah, your water broke. There's no doubt about that." In fact I think it was so obvious to all the nurses and doctors that they never mentioned it to us.

We must know!

It's so obvious!

Ok so maybe this is something serious. Maybe this is the most serious day of my life. Maybe this is the beginning of the worst day of my life. Or maybe…


So they do this test of the amniotic fluid that is still in there and they have to send it off to San Diego to get it tested because apparently you can't get top notch testing done in this little Podunk corner of the third world. We won't have the results for 6 hours so we'll just be waiting around…..

So I go to work for a little bit. And I hear all kinds of stories. Apparently breaking water doesn't necessarily mean the baby is coming. In fact this one crazy guy at work said his ex-wives water broke and the baby didn't come for two weeks.

See if the babies lungs aren't developed they can keep it in there for a couple days or even weeks. But the chance for infection is increased so they'd keep Shelley in the hospital for a while…

So no matter what Shelley is staying in the hospital.

And that's what the San Diego test was about. Whether the lungs were mature. So I go back to the hospital and wait around with Shelley and her Mom. Her grandmother and cousin came up from San Diego to be with her. Her grandmother was a nurse and tends to take hospitals seriously. Not really a calming influence.

I want to ask them if they brought the test results with them because by now its nearly 7 at night and the test results are 2 hours overdue and although I am being the calm and reassuring loving husband I am gonna start beating up some hospital staff if I don't get some answers. I mean you feel so helpless and you don't know what the hell is going on.

Then our doctor came in. Not just any doctor but OUR DOCTOR. Dr Daly. Cornelia Daly. The woman we've been going to since Shelley got pregnant.

Since I got Shelley pregnant.

And she says in this amazingly chipper, friendly matter of fact way that she has that "Yep, the lungs are mature so were gonna do a C-section In about 15 minutes. Looks like you're gonna have a baby. OK? Alright. I'll be back in minute.

What do you say to that?

No thanks. Sorry we're not really prepared.

To be continued.

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